Drugs = better sex?? When we watch TV, we get this message. If we subscribe to much of the popular culture, we get this message. Is it true? Well, I don't subscribe to this philosophy. Of course drugs can enhance sex, but it often does not work and certainly has its drawbacks.
I see many people in my office who are having some sort of sex problem…like lack of desire, impotence, or just boring sex. Often, they have turned to prescription sex enhancing drugs to help them. Usually, they are quite surprised when these drugs do not work as advertised. Other times, I get couples who use illegal drugs to enhance their sexual experiences. Again, they end up falling short. It might work fantastically at first and then quickly lose its effects. Many drugs, especially cocaine, end up having a negative effect on the sex life after time.
So you may be wondering why I say these drugs often do not work. If there is simply a physical problem, then these sex-enhancing drugs often do the trick. Here is the kicker—Many people rely on drugs to help their sex life because they have emotional and communication difficulties that make sex very difficult. No matter the issue, if a person relies on drugs to help them with a problem with communicating, thinking, or behavior, it will not work unless they also make changes in their attitude and lifestyle. People who rely on drugs alone often have little benefit.
I want everyone who is using a drug to enhance their sex life to really look at why they are choosing this as a "remedy." Is it a result of difficulty talking about sex, feelings of guilt or nervousness during sex, maybe it is the fact that you are angry with your partner and this is making it difficult to perform. Would you believe that some people take sex-enhancing drugs because they have so much anger towards their partner that they are unable to become aroused without chemical help? I know this exists because I have talked with several who admit this problem.
I am urging everyone who uses these sexual enhancing drugs to think about the emotional side of sex and ask themselves if this is impacting the actual mechanics of sex. Of course, if there is a physical or hormonal problem causing sexual difficulty, then sex-enhancing drugs are often beneficial.