Nerves and First Visit

A lot of people are very nervous about their first visit to a therapist. Whether this is their first time in therapy or if this is the first visit to a new therapist, it can be very nerve-racking! It may take some pressure off to realize that a first visit is a time for both client and therapist to get to know one another. There are no obligations at this point to have further sessions. If you like the therapist, then you can schedule a another appointment. If you do not care for the therapist, then you can let the…
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Mental Health vs. Mental Illness

We hear so much about Mental Illness on a regular basis. That is one of those terms that is frequently thrown around. Actually, I don't care for the term at all. Who wants to be told they have a Mental Illness? I doubt many do. I come from the perspective of Mental Health. Instead of concentrating on illness or problems, I help my clients focus on the positives. Just think, if a therapist focuses on the symptoms of Mental Illness, most of the time and energy is spent discussing the problem, which is demotivating. When the focus is on Mental…
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I Can’t…

One of the things that really gets me is when a person spends several minutes telling me why he or she cannot do something. Think about it...how many people do you know who spend so much of their time and energy telling you why they can't do something? I bet you can think of a few. Here is a thought...instead of telling people why you cannot do something, tell people what you are wanting to do. When you spend all of that time and energy explaining why you cannot do something or why something won't work, you are left with…
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Yearly Mental Health Checkup

You are supposed to get a yearly physical, right? What about a yearly mental? :) How many people check their mental health on a yearly basis--even if there does not seem to be a problem? Few people actually do this. However, I can think of at least one of my friends that does something like this. Why go for a mental health exam if you do not need it? There are so many people that have stress creep up on them without seeing it. This is a great way to use the help of a professional to see if stress…
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Marriage Counseling

People often come to me for marriage counseling. Actually, I prefer to call it couples counseling because I see all types of couples- many who do not fit into that marriage category. I come from the perspective that both people in the relationship have some responsibility for the good things in the relationship, as well as the bad stuff. Often I get a partner in the relationship or marriage who states that it is all the other person's fault. As we talk more, it becomes more and more apparent to both people that there is responsibility on each side. In…
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Trying Too Hard?

MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks. FIX the relationship. All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the problem, the worse it gets. How can this be? You have to take the bull by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always. There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having. There can be a lot said by…
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Prescription Sex Enhancing Drugs

Drugs = better sex?? When we watch TV, we get this message. If we subscribe to much of the popular culture, we get this message. Is it true? Well, I don't subscribe to this philosophy. Of course drugs can enhance sex, but it often does not work and certainly has its drawbacks. I see many people in my office who are having some sort of sex problem…like lack of desire, impotence, or just boring sex. Often, they have turned to prescription sex enhancing drugs to help them. Usually, they are quite surprised when these drugs do not work as advertised.…
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The Value of a Smile

/ Guest Post / by Author Unknown A smile cost nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, Without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, But the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, And none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, Fosters good will in business, And is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, Cheer to the discouraged, Sunshine to the sad, And is nature's…
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Talk Sex?

Sexuality is often one of those things people have great difficulty discussing. So much of the time, people have sex, but they do not have discussions about sex. I wonder how many of you do not really discuss sex with your partner(s). I see many people in my office and on the phone who are very sexually active and are quite open minded. However, it is very interesting to see that so many of them do not have solid adult to adult conversations about sex. The lack of these conversations seems to result in misunderstandings. I think of the classic…
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Stress Management

Here are a couple of quick quips for managing stress: If you allow others to make you stressed, you are allowing them to control you. Do you really want others pulling your strings? Look at stress as a test. The only person responsible for your stress is you. Stress is energy. Are you going to use this energy for something productive or destructive? Will it matter tomorrow? Next week? Next Month?
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