Couples Therapy as a First Resort

Couples often hurt…they have arguments that seem to last forever…maybe each argument reverts back to those old hurts that occurred months or even years ago. Many couples can relate to these arguments that never end and never resolve anything. Actually, these types of arguments usually just make the couple grow further and further apart. Should you only change the oil in your car when the engine is about to lock up? Should you only go to the dentist when you fear you are about to get dentures? Why is it that couples often wait until they are on the brink…
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Am I Normal?

Given that people come to see me because there is something not quite right in their life (or so they think), I see a lot of people asking if they are “normal.” This is such an interesting question. Actually, I do not claim to know the definition of “normal” and I don’t think anyone does. Most of us want to fit in. However, we all do things that are considered to be “abnormal.” So, I suppose that none of us are considered “normal,” for that matter. I certainly don’t consider myself “normal!” Since everyone has his or her quirks, this…
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Depression and Trucking

A lot of truckers really love their jobs and never think depression is a hazard of the job. However, there are quite a few truckers out there who get stuck in their daily routine and become more and more unhappy. The longer they are on the road, the less interaction they have with their family and friends. After a while, the lack of contact leaves the driver feeling empty and isolated. The more empty and isolated a person is, the easier it is to cut off contact with the outside world. I’m sure you can see how depression causes isolation…
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What Gets You Motivated?

What do you have to look forward to? Where does your motivation come from? Many people get caught in the struggle to work, raise a family, and/or just simply survive. I urge you to make a list of three goals that you want to accomplish by the end of this month and three more goals to accomplish within six months. Put these goals next to your bed so you see them when you wake up each morning. Next, detail how you will accomplish these goals and keep your family/friends updated on your progress. By writing your goals down, reviewing them…
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Anger as Energy

Anger is energy. Are you going to use your anger productively or destructively? You can do a lot of positive things with your anger...stand up for yourself, challenge unfair laws, or express your anger with a person/situation in a reasonable manner.
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Do Disrespectful People Make You Angry?

The feeling of being disrespected is one of those things that often enrages people. Who has any tolerance for being disrespected? I hope no one does, actually. Willingly subjecting yourself to disrespectful people can cause plenty of problems, such as poor self esteem and bottled up anger. However, jumping to conclusions that you are being disrespected (when you are not) can cause plenty more problems. Here is my question: What does it mean to be disrespected? Many people have a variety of answers for this one. Therefore, I do not think there is any one consensus on this definition. It…
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Am I Trying Too Hard?

Do this technique to stop depression. Do that technique to stop your panic attacks. Try this approach to calm your mind. Not only does there seem to be exercises to address all issues known to humanity, but there are several experts who write self help books to tell you what you are doing wrong. Think about this. Maybe you are trying too hard. Maybe you are actually sabotaging yourself because you are trying so hard to “beat” the problem. The more you focus on that problem, the more you will experience it. I urge my clients to “roll” with the…
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