Understanding Your Feelings
Sadness and anger are normal emotions, especially during your teen years. Lots of teens experience these feelings, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
What Makes You Feel This Way?
Think about what situations or thoughts might bring on your sadness or anger. Sometimes it’s helpful to write them down.
- Example 1: When my friends leave me out of their plans, I feel sad and left out.
- Example 2: When I get a bad grade on a test I studied hard for, I feel angry and frustrated.
- Example 3: When my parents argue, I feel anxious and scared.
- Example 4: When I compare myself to others on social media, I feel inadequate and down.
What are some of your triggers?
How Can You Cope?
There are lots of healthy ways to deal with tough emotions:
- Get Physical: Exercise is a great mood booster! Maybe it’s going for a run, playing your favorite sport, dancing to music, or just taking a walk. Getting enough sleep is also super important.
- Get Creative: Let your feelings out in a creative way. Try journaling, drawing, painting, writing poetry or songs, or just listening to music.
- Connect with Others: Talking to someone you trust can make a big difference. This could be a friend, a family member, a school counselor, or another adult you feel comfortable with.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Try focusing on your breath – notice how it feels going in and out of your body. There are also lots of mindfulness apps you can explore.
Talk to Yourself Kindly
Sometimes, our thoughts can make us feel worse. Try to notice when you’re being negative and flip the script.
- Instead of: “I’m so stupid, I can’t do anything right.”
- Try: “I’m still learning, and everyone makes mistakes. I’ll try again.”
- Instead of: “Nobody likes me.”
- Try: “I have friends who care about me, and it’s okay if not everyone does.”
Look at Things Differently
Try to challenge negative thoughts. Are they really true? Is there another way to look at the situation?
- Example: You get a bad grade. Instead of thinking “I’m a failure,” you could think, “This is just one test. I can study harder next time and ask for help.”
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
If you’re struggling, it’s okay to ask for help. Talking to a therapist or counselor can be really beneficial. They can help you learn more coping skills and work through tough stuff. You can also talk to a trusted adult.
Supporting Your Teen (For Parents)
- Open Communication: Emphasize the importance of creating a safe space for teens to talk about their feelings without judgment. Suggest active listening techniques (e.g., reflecting back what they say).
- Family Involvement: Suggest family activities that promote connection and communication (e.g., game nights, family dinners).
- Consistency and Routine: Highlight the benefits of maintaining consistent routines for sleep, meals, and activities.
- Modeling Healthy Coping: Encourage parents to model healthy coping skills for their own stress and emotions.
- Sibling Dynamics: Offer tips for managing sibling rivalry in a healthy way, focusing on fairness and communication. Suggest family meetings to discuss these issues openly.
- Positive Reinforcement: Explain the importance of praising and acknowledging teens’ strengths and efforts.
- Recognizing Warning Signs: Provide a list of signs that might indicate a teen needs professional help (e.g., changes in sleep or appetite, withdrawal from friends and activities, increased irritability).
- Resources: Provide contact information for local mental health resources, support groups, and online resources. Mention the importance of addressing family history of mental health challenges and substance abuse.
Building Emotional Strength as a Family (For the Whole Family)
- Family Meetings: Suggest regular family meetings to discuss feelings, concerns, and ideas for supporting each other.
- Emotional Vocabulary: Encourage the family to learn and use a wider range of emotional vocabulary to express feelings more accurately.
- Shared Activities: Suggest activities that the whole family can enjoy together, promoting connection and fun (e.g., hiking, playing games, volunteering).
- Conflict Resolution: Provide tips for resolving conflicts constructively within the family.
- Celebrating Strengths: Encourage each family member to identify and celebrate their own strengths and the strengths of others.
- Gratitude Practice: Introduce a family gratitude practice, where everyone shares things they are grateful for.