Do they really have narcissism?
Seldom does the day go past that I do not hear a client diagnosing someone as a narcissist. Narcissism is such a popular diagnosis and has been for the past few years. However, when a therapist looks at the underlying issues with someone who may be a narcissist, plenty of times, there is a different diagnosis at play. As a counselor, I look at what is behind the narcissistic behaviors.
Although narcissism does exist, in my experience, it is uncommon for this to be the sole diagnosis. There are usually other root cause concerns related to narcissism.
Examples of what people believe are narcissism, but there is another explanation:
Any kind of substance use problem. It is often said addiction is selfish. When a person has the disease of addiction, they usually have very selfish behaviors that resemble narcissism.
Sometimes people do not know how to express themselves appropriately and find themselves becoming fixated on their own needs, which can be mistaken for narcissism.
Sometimes people are not getting their needs met in their relationships, and therefore, they appear to have narcissistic traits. In reality, people are showing narcissistic behaviors, but they are hurting inside.
Sometimes, people are simply addicted to social media (or overusing) which increases the focus on themselves and they are looking at the world through a superficial lens. As a result, the person appears to exhibit narcissism.
Sometimes, we have difficulty coping with others who disagree with us, and we called them a narcissist because it is much easier to label them as the problem. However, this may not always be true narcissism.
Although someone may be struggling with narcissism, it is my experience as a counselor that there is usually something much deeper at play.
I help my clients to address the deeper concerns and find ways to address their behavior that appears to be too self-focused or narcissistic. If the person does have a diagnosis of narcissism, then we will address that in therapy.