Anger that Comes from Depression

People often have anger that stems from depression—especially men. Signs of depression Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions Fatigue and decreased energy Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping Irritability, restlessness Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex Overeating or appetite loss Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts Signs of depression that may not seem typical Frequently disciplined at school or work Frequently angry…
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Anger Relapses and How to Deal

A lot of people think that just because you have been working very hard to manage your anger, you will never fly off the handle again.  Many people go on to think that if you slip up, then you are a failure and your anger management skills are not working.  It is unreasonable to think that you will never get angry again.  Remember that it is healthy and expected for people to become angry.  If you do have a slip that causes you to have some sort of angry outburst, it is best to look at it as a learning…
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Things You Can Tell Yourself When Angry

When we are angry, it is very easy to get carried away and say all kinds of cruel and absurd things to ourselves (and others!).  One of the most effective ways to decrease anger is to cut out those negative things we say to ourselves and change our point of view.     Next time you get angry, give these a try Will it matter next week, next month, next year? What right do I have that is being violated? Visualize getting along, walking away—Instead of kicking the person’s arse! Look at the person/situation making you angry as a test to…
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Anger Can be Healthy

Think of anger as a ball of energy that can be helpful and harmful.  It depends on how you use it.  It takes little creativity to use anger to swear, become violent and really make a clown of one’s self.  However, it takes a lot of creativity and control to direct one’s anger energy toward something productive. Some examples of productive uses of anger: Women’s right to voteCivil rightsSelf defenseMother’s Against Drunk Driving (MADD)Writing letters to the editorMotivation to finish that project you have not been working on forever What are some ways you can use your anger effectively?
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Anger and Disrespect

Out of my work with all the anger management clients, I am told that "being disrespected" is the number one thing that makes them angry. This makes sense. Who would not be angry with being disrespected? Here is my question: What does it mean to be disrespected. My clients have a variety of answers for this one. I do not think there is any one consensus on the definition of "being disrespected." It is a feeling that people get and they know it when they see it. Since this feeling is rather subjective, I want to point out that there…
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Anger Iceberg

Anger is like an iceberg. There is that tip that is sticking out, which everyone sees. So, it is not difficult to see when a person is angry. However, Icebergs have about 90% more to them that what meets the eye. Anger is the same way. Anger is the symptom. Symptom of what? Well, it is different for each person. Many people's anger iceberg includes fears, insecurities, bottled up frustrations, hurt pride, feelings of disrespect, and various other emotions. Given that it is usually quite easy to see a person's anger, but difficult to see the rest of their anger…
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Trying Too Hard?

MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks. FIX the relationship. All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the problem, the worse it gets. How can this be? You have to take the bull by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always. There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having. There can be a lot said by…
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Anger as Energy

Anger is energy. Are you going to use your anger productively or destructively? You can do a lot of positive things with your anger...stand up for yourself, challenge unfair laws, or express your anger with a person/situation in a reasonable manner.
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Do Disrespectful People Make You Angry?

The feeling of being disrespected is one of those things that often enrages people. Who has any tolerance for being disrespected? I hope no one does, actually. Willingly subjecting yourself to disrespectful people can cause plenty of problems, such as poor self esteem and bottled up anger. However, jumping to conclusions that you are being disrespected (when you are not) can cause plenty more problems. Here is my question: What does it mean to be disrespected? Many people have a variety of answers for this one. Therefore, I do not think there is any one consensus on this definition. It…
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