Tag: life goals

Therapy Can Change Your Life

We all have something in our life that we want to change. If someone says there is nothing to change, this should be a problem in and of itself.

How do people create change in their lives? Altering thoughts, modifying behaviors, setting goals, and creating/maintaining relationships are all great catalysts. Therapy is a way to help facilitate these behaviors.

My goal as a therapist is to help hold you accountable on the changes you wish to make. I do this by asking about your goals and how you are coming along. I also help with creating ideas that will add to these change behaviors. Therapy is a short-term process, but can have very a very long lasting impact. Once you change your habits and learn more about yourself, your life will begin to improve. If you do even more homework by reading self help books and challenge yourself to achieve even greater goals, you will continue to grow as a person.

A Certified Financial Social Work Counselor’s (CFSW) Thoughts on Money

1.  How do you define the term, “Living within your means?”
First, you need to make sure you are spending less per month than you earn. Secondly, you need to insure that you are saving money for retirement and have at least a 6-month emergency fund.

2.  What is the difference of “living within your means” and “living below your means”?
I think of living below your means as saving a substantial amount of money… beyond the 6 month emergency fund, retirement, and any other basic savings necessities. Continue reading →

Work and Leisure?

Weisure is the term.  It refers to the mix of work and leisure.  Since virtually everyone is connected, it is so difficult to leave work at work.  Is it a bad thing?

Many say that work has become fun and is a huge joy in life.  Why not mix work and leisure? It could be more productive and satisfying.

I enjoy technology and am guilty of weisure on a regular basis.  However, balance is the key. If one obsesses over his or her work, this lack of relaxation is destructive.  It is important to be able to find a way to relax and enjoy life.  Remember that you work to live, instead of live to work Continue reading →

The Wealthy Could Even Benefit from Financial Counseling

My wife and I recently went to the Biltmore Estate.  In case you are not familiar, it is the largest privately owned house in the United States at over 175,000 square feet.

I found it amazing that the Vanderbilts, who are an incredibly wealthy family who built the estate, were unable to afford to maintain their estate during the Depression.  In order to raise funds, they opened their house for tours.  In 1956, the family relocated and turned the house into a museum that charged for admission, presumably because the maintenance cost was too high.

As I learned more about this house, I thought of my past post about living within your means.

It looks like no matter who you are, you have to be careful with your finances and live within your means.

I Can’t…

One of the things that really gets me is when a person spends several minutes telling me why he or she cannot do something. Think about it…how many people do you know who spend so much of their time and energy telling you why they can’t do something? I bet you can think of a few.

Here is a thought…instead of telling people why you cannot do something, tell people what you are wanting to do. When you spend all of that time and energy explaining why you cannot do something or why something won’t work, you are left with very little time and energy to actually accomplish something! You have a limited time and energy–why waste it on discussing why you can’t do something.

You have to make things happen by talking about what you are going to do. I have never seen anyone get anywhere by complaining about what they don’t have. Remember, “If there is no wind, ROW”– a Latin proverb.

Am I Normal?

Given that people come to see me because there is something not quite right in their life (or so they think), I see a lot of people asking if they are “normal.” This is such an interesting question. Actually, I do not claim to know the definition of “normal” and I don’t think anyone does.

Most of us want to fit in. However, we all do things that are considered to be “abnormal.” So, I suppose that none of us are considered “normal,” for that matter. I certainly don’t consider myself “normal!”

Since everyone has his or her quirks, this is really a fantastic thing. Could you imagine if everyone was exactly the same? It would be a rather boring place and life’s goal post would be mighty crowded. For those who are really focused on trying to figure out if they are “normal” or how to be “normal,” I ask why this is so important to them. The answer to this question usually identifies the real struggle the person is having.

My take on human behavior is this: If your behavior is causing a problem, then it is a problem. If your behavior is different from many you know, but there is no obvious problem, then who cares? As a result of our society being so focused on fitting in, we often lose our individuality. This is a mighty sad thing. Just think how great diversity is. Dr. Alfred Kinsey, who many believe is the first person to scientifically study sex, emphasized how diversity is so important to every organism. He embraced the differences in human beings and did his best to encourage others to respect individual differences.

The next time you ask yourself if you are “normal” or if you should be “normal” or how you can be “normal,” Stop It! What good is “normal?” If you are enjoying yourself and not hurting anyone, then be who you are. Isn’t life much better when you are being yourself, instead of trying to just be like everyone else?

What Gets You Motivated?

What do you have to look forward to? Where does your motivation come from? Many people get caught in the struggle to work, raise a family, and/or just simply survive.

I urge you to make a list of three goals that you want to accomplish by the end of this month and three more goals to accomplish within six months. Put these goals next to your bed so you see them when you wake up each morning. Next, detail how you will accomplish these goals and keep your family/friends updated on your progress. By writing your goals down, reviewing them daily, and sharing your goals with others, you are much more like to accomplish them!

Remember…there is much more to life than just surviving!