Living Within Your Means

Living Within Your Means

Keeping up with the Joneses, go big or go home, and livin’ large are all mantras of our society.  These mantras may very well sound appealing.  However, they seem to cause a great deal of pain for many. In my office, I see people who are spending much more money than they are earning.  After the credit cards are maxed and the second or third mortgage has been taken out, people often find there is no place to turn and they are quite unhappy. What you own is now owning you, as the old saying goes.  It is unfortunate how…
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What to Expect from Counseling

What to Expect from Counseling

Many people are afraid to come to a counseling session because they find it too intimidating. I can't blame them. Heck, I find it difficult to go to the doctor when I am feeling sick and can't go to work. So, it is a new experience and often provokes some natural anxiety. Your first session is the hardest and it gets easier from there! Here are some of the questions I've been asked: * Am I any less of a man for coming to counseling? No. If counseling weren't manly, I wouldn't be doing it! I'll tell you that its…
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Marriage Counseling

Marriage Counseling

People often come to me for marriage counseling. Actually, I prefer to call it couples counseling because I see all types of couples- many who do not fit into that marriage category. I come from the perspective that both people in the relationship have some responsibility for the good things in the relationship, as well as the bad stuff. Often I get a partner in the relationship or marriage who states that it is all the other person's fault. As we talk more, it becomes more and more apparent to both people that there is responsibility on each side. In…
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Trying Too Hard?

Trying Too Hard?

MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks. FIX the relationship. All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the problem, the worse it gets. How can this be? You have to take the bull by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always. There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having. There can be a lot said by…
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Prescription Sex Enhancing Drugs

Prescription Sex Enhancing Drugs

Drugs = better sex?? When we watch TV, we get this message. If we subscribe to much of the popular culture, we get this message. Is it true? Well, I don't subscribe to this philosophy. Of course drugs can enhance sex, but it often does not work and certainly has its drawbacks. I see many people in my office who are having some sort of sex problem…like lack of desire, impotence, or just boring sex. Often, they have turned to prescription sex enhancing drugs to help them. Usually, they are quite surprised when these drugs do not work as advertised.…
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Talk Sex?

Talk Sex?

The Importance of Communication in Sex and Relationships: How Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy Can Help Sexuality is one of the most intimate and fundamental aspects of a relationship, yet it remains one of the most challenging topics for couples to discuss openly. Many people engage in sexual activity, but very few have honest, in-depth conversations about their desires, boundaries, and needs. This lack of communication often leads to misunderstandings, dissatisfaction, and even resentment. As a therapist specializing in couples and sex therapy, I see firsthand how crucial it is for partners to develop the skills necessary to talk about…
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Marriage Counseling as a Last Resort?

Marriage Counseling as a Last Resort?

Please seek help early---It is worth it!!  I see a lot of couples in my office who are striving to better their relationships and, often, save their relationships. The disturbing trend I see is couples therapy or marriage counseling being used as a last resort. Many couples will tell me that they have tried psychiatric medication (often antidepressants) and different forms of arguing, as well as separations, threats of lawsuits, and who knows what else. Of course...this is all before trying couples therapy. The problem I see is that many couples do not look for finding ways to better their…
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Couples Therapy as a First Resort

Couples Therapy as a First Resort

Alright, let's dive into something that hits close to home for so many: relationships. We've all seen it, haven't we? The endless arguments, the lingering hurts, the same old battles rehashed again and again. It's like a record stuck on repeat, and the music is anything but harmonious. You know, client, those arguments, the ones that stretch on seemingly forever, the ones that dredge up wounds from months, even years past? They're incredibly common. And they're incredibly damaging. Couples therapy can help bridge the chasm, a growing distance that separates two people who once felt so close. It's a pattern…
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Do Disrespectful People Make You Angry?

Do Disrespectful People Make You Angry?

The feeling of being disrespected is one of those things that often enrages people. Who has any tolerance for being disrespected? I hope no one does, actually. Willingly subjecting yourself to disrespectful people can cause plenty of problems, such as poor self esteem and bottled up anger. However, jumping to conclusions that you are being disrespected (when you are not) can cause plenty more problems. Here is my question: What does it mean to be disrespected? Many people have a variety of answers for this one. Therefore, I do not think there is any one consensus on this definition. It…
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