When we are angry, it is very easy to get carried away and say all kinds of cruel and absurd things to ourselves (and others!). One of the most effective ways to decrease anger is to cut out those negative things we say to ourselves and change our point of view.
Next time you get angry, give these a try
- Will it matter next week, next month, next year?
- What right do I have that is being violated?
- Visualize getting along, walking away—Instead of kicking the person’s arse!
- Look at the person/situation making you angry as a test to see if you will become angry.
- If you allow others to make you angry, you are allowing them to control you. Do you really want others pulling your strings?
- No matter how tough you are, you’ll find your match
- The only person responsible for your anger is you
- Imagine what the world would be like if everyone had anger like you
- Anger is energy. Are you going to use this energy for something productive or destructive?
- Learn to laugh at yourself
- Keep a journal of absurdities
- Find the comedies in the tragedies—It’s a matter of perspective.
1. Upsetting Thought: I’m going to get angry.
Realistic Alternative: I’ll probably do all right, but even if I don’t, it’s not the end of the world.
2. Upsetting Thought: I can’t stand it.
Realistic Alternative: I don’t like it, but I can stand it.
3. Upsetting Thought: I’ll never amount to anything.
Realistic Alternative: It may be difficult, but if I try, I can accomplish a lot.
4. Upsetting Thought: That’s awful and I’m going to blow my stack!
Realistic Alternative: It’s bad, but it could be much worse.
5. Upsetting Thought: I must be a loser because this person doesn’t like me.
Realistic Alternative: I want to be liked, but not everyone will like me.
6. Upsetting Thought: I need love and I’m getting angry because I don’t have it.
Realistic Alternative: I want love, but I can live without it.
7. Upsetting Thought: That S.O. B.!
Realistic Alternative: I don’t like some of his actions, but he is not all bad.
8. Upsetting Thought: I’m not in the mood to do that.
Realistic Alternative: Tough! If I want the advantages of doing this, I had better go ahead and get it out of the way.
9. Upsetting Thought: I’m going to get fired.
Realistic Alternative: I might be fired, but probably won’t be. Being fired would be a setback, but I can deal with it.
10. Upsetting Thought: I need a drink.
Realistic Alternative: I want a drink, but I don’t need it. I might feel better now, but I’ll regret it tomorrow.
What are the top three things you want to say to yourself the next time you are angry? Is there any reason you think they won’t work?