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Anxiety and Anger Handout

This is a handout I use in therapy for some people. Perhaps this handout will be helpful for your or a loved one. 🙂

PART 1: THE VIBE CHECK (5 Minutes)

Goal: Get settled without having to talk too much right away.

1. The Stress Speedometer Circle the number that matches your speed right now.

0 MPH25 MPH55 MPH90 MPH120 MPH
Parked. Totally asleep or bored.Cruising. Chill, normal energy.Speeding. A little anxious, thoughts moving fast.Reckless. Heart beating fast, agitated, shaky.Crash Risk. About to explode or shut down completely.

2. Choose Your Fighter (Circle One) If you had to deal with a major problem today, what is your instinctive style?

  • The Tank: Roll over it, crush it, yell until it goes away.
  • The Ghost: Disappear, ignore it, hide in your room/phone.
  • The Lawyer: Argue every single point until the other person gives up.
  • The Statue: Freeze up, say nothing, but panic on the inside.

PART 2: THE BODYGUARD (10 Minutes)

Goal: Understanding the link between Anger and Anxiety.

The Concept: Think of your Anger as a Bodyguard. A Bodyguard’s job is to jump in front of you when you feel unsafe, embarrassed, or threatened.

  • The Bodyguard is loud, scary, and pushes people away (Yelling, slamming doors).
  • The Person Behind the Bodyguard is the feeling you are actually trying to hide (Worry, fear, hurt).

The “Under the Surface” Checklist When your Bodyguard (Anger) jumps out, what is it usually protecting? Check the ones that fit you.

[ ] Fear of Looking Stupid: (Did I say the wrong thing? Do they think I’m dumb?) [ ] Fear of No Control: (Why is everyone telling me what to do?) [ ] Fear of Being Trapped: (I can’t leave this situation.) [ ] Fear of Disappointment: (I messed up again.) [ ] Physical Overload: (It’s too loud, too bright, or I’m just exhausted.)

Discussion: Can you think of one time this week your “Bodyguard” stepped in to protect you from one of the fears above?

PART 3: THE FUSE (15 Minutes)

Goal: Identifying exactly what lights the fire.

The Fuse Timeline Explosions rarely happen out of nowhere. There is usually a “Fuse” that burns down first. Let’s look at what lights your fuse.

1. The Match (The Spark) What are the specific things people do that instantly light your fuse?

  • [ ] Being accused of something I didn’t do.
  • [ ] Someone staring at me.
  • [ ] Loud chewing or breathing noises.
  • [ ] Being interrupted when I’m talking.
  • [ ] Being told to “calm down.”
  • [ ] Failing at a game or a test.
  • [ ] Other: ____________________

2. The Burn (The Physical Warning) Your body warns you before you explode. What happens to you physically?

  • [ ] Fists clench.
  • [ ] Face gets hot.
  • [ ] Vision gets blurry or “tunnel vision.”
  • [ ] Stomach drops.
  • [ ] I stop hearing people clearly.
  • [ ] Leg starts shaking.

PART 4: THE EMERGENCY BRAKE (10 Minutes)

Goal: Concrete things to do instead of punching a wall.

We need three go-to moves. One for your body, one for your brain, and one for your escape.

Move 1: Physical Release (Get the energy out) Instead of hitting a person or breaking a controller, I will: [ ] Do 10 fierce pushups immediately. [ ] Rip up an old magazine/newspaper. [ ] Squeeze a stress ball or ice cube until it melts. [ ] Sprint down the block and back. [ ] My Choice: ____________________

Move 2: The Brain Distraction (Cut the wire) To stop the thoughts from racing, I will: [ ] Name 5 things I can see that are the color blue. [ ] Count backward from 100 by 7s (100, 93, 86…). [ ] Recite the lyrics to my favorite song in my head. [ ] My Choice: ____________________

Move 3: The Safe Exit (Get away) If I need to leave the room, I will say: [ ] “I need a minute. I’ll be back.” [ ] “I’m overheating. I’m going to take a walk.” [ ] (Hand signal) – I will just hold up my hand and walk away. [ ] My Choice: ____________________

PART 5: THE EXIT TICKET (5 Minutes)

Goal: Clear plan for the next week.

1. The Challenge Next time you feel the “Bodyguard” (Anger) coming out, try to name the “Person Behind It” (The Anxiety).

  • Example: “I’m not just mad at Mom; I’m worried she’s going to take my phone.”

2. The Reward If I use one of my “Emergency Brake” moves this week instead of exploding, I will reward myself with:

(Example: An hour of uninterrupted gaming, favorite snack, sleeping in) My Reward: ________________________________

Session Complete.

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